


it'll be okay, it'll be okay

by Naolin



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Guardians, Appearances from all the Star Guardians, But focus is on Lux and EzLux and arguably Ahri, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 02:50:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12245616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naolin/pseuds/Naolin
Summary: Lux does questions and answers with all of the Star Guardians. Sort of. (And ocean trips and skipping class and post battle midnight meals. Falling into the void and being pulled back out and figuring out leadership.)





	it'll be okay, it'll be okay

“What do you think it takes to be a good leader?” Lux asks, abruptly, breaking the awkward silence of the last ten minutes.  
  
Ezreal looks at her side-long, considering. The rain continues to pound at the roof of the sheltered bus stop, water cascading down the plexiglass walls. He hears it drumming overhead, reverberating loud, like the weather is trying to drown out the sounds of the city and the passing cars.  
  
They have been sitting quietly for far too long. If he is honest, the idea that this question is what has been on her mind is disappointing. He would hope to have more impact on her, sitting two feet away on this bench, rather than the distant concept of Ahri.  
  
She isn't looking at him, staring instead at a spreading puddle out on the sidewalk. Her folded umbrella leans against the side of the bench, still wet from her walk to the stop. Ezreal's shoulders are damp, his hair still dripping and sticking to his cheeks.  
  
“Depends on who you're leading,” Ezreal says, neutrally. He knows he isn't the right person to ask, but he'll take whatever conversation she offers. He just doesn't want to say the wrong thing and upset her. Her brow is furrowed intently, mouth pulled tight in thought. Maybe it's too late.  
  
After mulling this over, she looks up at him, eyes bright and vivid – sincere. “Then you mean flexibility, right? Being able to accommodate your team's needs.”  
  
“I guess,” Ezreal says, and shrugs aimlessly.  
  
Lux's gaze flits away again, out to the pouring rain. Her expression goes distant. He knows she wants to ask – _what sort of leader is Ahri?_ It is something of a relief that he also knows she won't. He isn't sure how he would answer.  
  
“And keeping a clear head?” He offers, not wanting it to go quiet again. “You need to know your team's strengths and play into them.”  
  
“I'm sorry,” Lux says, almost immediately, clearly not listening to his answer. Ezreal blinks, and she elaborates, her leg bouncing nervously, “I don't mean to – are we allowed to talk, even? I don't want to step on any toes.”  
  
Ezreal opens his mouth to make some kind of star-crossed lovers joke, but hesitates. Ahri wouldn't try to stop them from just socializing, and he doesn't want to put even the joke of the idea out there. Ahri isn't right about everything, but she is a good leader, and he's not in the mood to imply otherwise.  
  
Lux interrupts him anyway, blurting out, “is she a good leader?”  
  
“She's fine,” Ezreal says. He watches her knee jostle up and down. The tense set of her arms, gripping the edge of the bench as she leans forward. He adds, as soothing as he is able, “you're fine.”  
  
“You all just seem so... Put together, you know?” Lux murmurs, helpless. Ezreal gets the impression that she did not mean to say any of this to him, and does his best to spare her the discomfort. He looks out to the street. The cars pass and the clouds pass, and patches of foggy golden light rise and fade over the concrete.  
  
“They've just had more practice,” Ezreal says.  
  
“They,” Lux repeats.  
  
He glances back her way and does not change his answer.  
  
The confusion is plain across her face, her eyes narrowed and lips parted in an unconscious pout. She doesn't push it. She lets the moment pass with the clouds, and now the rain comes from a blinding grey sky. He watches her squint up at the sun for a moment, then back down to her umbrella. (Pink with yellow stars all over. As cute as she is.)  
  
She murmurs, “I know that I'm new at this and I know I'm not great, yet. But I can't get better if we aren't allowed to fight. We're supposed to be guardians, too. I can't – I can't tell my sisters to sit on the sidelines. Not as the leader.”  
  
“Then don't.”  
  
Lux brings her umbrella to rest between her legs and idly spins it in place. “Telling me that,” she points out, “is going against your own leader.”  
  
“Sometimes my leader is wrong,” Ezreal says. Lux tilts her umbrella – tilts her head to match. He can see the nape of her neck, her hair swept aside into pigtails, and has to look away. “Sometimes my leader is lying.”  
  
Lux hums, unsure.  
  
Ezreal opens his mouth, like he wants to tell her too much. Like he wants to spill everything he knows. That it isn't her pride that pushes the others back, but fear. That she is protective, at the cost of gentleness. That she's seen sisters fall before, and doesn't want it again.  
  
That Ezreal is only here as a cheap replacement.  
  
The bus comes, splashing up water across the sidewalk.  
  
Lux boards without a look back, apparently thinking the conversation tactfully ended. Ezreal follows after her, flashing his bus pass to the driver and watching Lux slip into a seat towards the back. She turns to look out the window, clearly not expecting company.  
  
He drops into the seat beside her.  
  
“So, let's talk about something more fun,” he says, bright as he can.  
  
Lux startles, but when she nods and smiles at him it is with a delicate fondness. Soft and pretty, and sounding like she thinks _she_ is the one being indulged, she says, “I suppose we could chat more.”  
  
Ezreal grins. “So – _your_ favorite type of light. Go.”  
  
She raises an eyebrow. “Do you even have to ask?”  
  
“No,” Ezreal says, but still stares at her, expectantly, his grin unwavering.  
  
“My own,” she says. The surprise must show on his face, because she looks amused to see it. Before he can comment, she continues on leisurely, counting off on her fingers. “The halo of light around the moon on a clear night. Or the light on the ocean. When the sky is grey and bright as the sun, all over. The fairy-lights in my bedroom when I'm reading a good book or taking a nap, or both. The dusty light in the school library when you skip class and no one else is there. The light from the fireplace in the winter when the room is dark.”  
  
She trails off, but he is sure she could go on and on. He wouldn't mind listening, but she is beginning to look embarrassed.  
  
“All good, all good,” Ezreal says.  
  
Her laugh is light. “And starlight, of course.”

***

“What do you think of Ezreal?” Lux asks, sprawled on her stomach on her living room floor. She is toying with the edge of the expensive throw-rug, watching the fire crackle in front of her. Jinx is gleefully tearing pages out of last year's notebooks, one by one. Lux was careful to only provide old schoolwork that can be discarded this way – she will not make the same mistake twice.  
  
Jinx is sitting cross legged beside her, and balls up a page of math scribblings, then tosses it into the fireplace. The fire catches its edges, spreading slow. She asks, “Starboy?”  
  
“That's the one.”  
  
Jinx hums. Balls up another paper. She is quiet for so long that Lux imagines she just does not have enough interest to bother with an answer at all. Lux listens to the fire crackle instead, comfortable in the quiet. Her face is too warm, but she is too drowsy to move away.  
  
The loud _rip_ of another page from the notebook startles her.  
  
“He moves too fast,” Jinx announces, her voice harsh. Lux raises an eyebrow at her, and the particularly vicious method she has taken to her paper-crumpling. “He's all – blink, blink, blink! Here and there and poof! Somewhere else!”  
  
“Your powers give you speed boosts,” Lux points out, snickering into the pillow of her own arms. “You're one to talk. Sometimes it's hard to protect you, you know.”  
  
Jinx is scowling now, juggling a balled-up series of history quizzes. “But you can see where I'm goin' because I'm just running! Not, like, pew pew, now I'm over here for some reason, pew pew!”  
  
After a moment of thought, Lux ventures, “are you worried about hurting him?” Jinx's look of horror at the accusation is a clear enough “no” that Lux bursts into laughter. “Alright. Then why does it bother you?”  
  
“Because he takes what's mine,” Jinx snaps. She scoots back to get a better wind up, throwing the paper into the fireplace hard and fast. Lux thinks this is a good tradition for Jinx. It gets some of her aggression out, whether it is at school or not.  
  
“I know that we all want to prove ourselves to Ahri's team,” Lux says, as soothingly as she can, “but no one is keeping score of how many monsters you finish off.”  
  
Jinx grumbles under her breath, vicious and curse-heavy, and picks up the entire notebook to throw to the flames. Lux reaches out to touch her arm, almost on instinct. Childhood friendship has trained her to keep Jinx from acting on her worst ideas. At the touch, Jinx lowers the notebook and begins tearing pages out again.  
  
“I didn't even want to do this stupid star guardian junk anyway,” Jinx complains. Rip. “And then someone says 'hey, no worries, we'll take it from here,' and you want to _keep_ fighting?” Rip. “You're dumber than I thought.” _Rip_.  
  
Lux tries not to sound amused. “Jinx. You love fighting. You were more upset about the team strategy meetings than the fighting.”  
  
“That's not the point.”  
  
They have had this conversation too many times. Lux's hand drops down, resting against Jinx's thigh. She tries not to sound weary; knows that it only sets Jinx off even more when she shows her uncertainty, even if it is often Jinx that feeds it to begin with. Softly, Lux reminds her, “it's our responsibility. Our destiny.”  
  
“And we failed it, and they had to send in the more experienced backup,” Jinx snaps. “And who's idea was it to bundle up all that destiny and shove it into the first randos the stars align to screw over?”  
  
“We're not 'randos',” Lux points out. “That's what destiny _means_.” She does not comment on the first part. She does not know what to say to that.  
  
It doesn't matter. She's already made up her mind.  
  
“You asked me what I think,” Jinx growls. “And that's it. He's a KS-ing pretty boy.”  
  
“Pretty boy,” Lux repeats. She lowers her head onto her arms and closes her eyes, trying to bring up his image in her mind. She likes the boyish line of his jaw, and she likes his stupid hair. His eyes are – pretty, she can admit. She remembers them sparkling, remembers him helping her up, moonlit and smiling.  
  
Jinx growls again, louder this time, and throws more paper into the fire. She is muttering a stream of complaints. Lux manages to make out the words _thief_ and _mine_ , and laughs under her breath.  
  
“You'll always be the best monster killer on my team,” Lux says, like spoiling a child.  
  
“We'll show them,” Jinx agrees, more-or-less. “Try to keep us out of the fight. I'll show that stupid Starboy. That stupid foxy girl. That, uh, the pretty one. The...”  
  
Lux does not ask her which one was 'the pretty one,' though she doesn't feel it's narrowed things down between Soraka or Miss Fortune at all. She pushes herself up from the floor, rising and stretching. It is snowing outside, still. The snowfall is light and difficult to see without squinting, but the snow dusting over every surface is deep lavender in the evening dark.  
  
“That's right. I've made the decision and we're committing to it. We fight, no matter what Ahri has to say about it. We will show them.” Lux often feels that she is only saying these things with such authority to assure herself, but there is a particular way that Jinx tenses up with purpose. It's satisfying, and there is a certain pride in drawing out the best in Jinx that Lux wants to reward the both of them with. She announces, “I'm going to make cocoa.”  
  
Lux would like to think that it is her resolve that cheered Jinx's mood, but supposes it is equally possible that it is just the offering of a sweet drink. Jinx demands, “marshmallows. Chop chop.”

***

“Do you think the others will be okay?” Lux asks, for probably the hundredth time. Her knees are pulled to her chest, her bare toes curling over the edge of the passenger seat.  
  
Next to her, Janna's eyes don't leave the road. “Poppy and Lulu look out for each other.”  
  
“And I look after Jinx,” Lux says, not particularly comforted by her exclusion.  
  
Janna is quiet. This is not particularly strange for her, especially when she is concentrating on something. In this case, driving. Lux is still discomfited, knowing that Janna is also the type to keep her disapproval silent. For as articulate as she can be, she does not like to come forth with her troubles or even harsh judgments. Instead she leaves her displeasures in the sharpness of her gaze and the strict set of her shoulders.  
  
Lux often thinks that Janna should have been the leader. She is the oldest, inarguably the most mature. She keeps a level head, and although she can feel cold at times, Lux's image of a strong leader is someone who doesn't spill their worries to their teammates.  
  
Not like her, always so desperate for someone to tell her what to do.  
  
“ It's just one day,” Lux knows she sounds too worried. It's harder to fake it when she is alone with Janna, around someone who highlights her imperfections so perfectly . “They can handle one school day alone, right?”  
  
“Whatever you say,” Janna says, so vaguely that Lux almost thinks she is teasing and not simply annoyed by Lux's whimsy. After all, it was Lux who had suggested cutting class to drive out to the coast. To question it now, two hours into the three hour drive to the shore must be irritating.  
  
The sea is coming into view as the hills pass by. Shimmering and bright, an ebbing and flowing minty green. The morning fog is still rolling out, like a pretty lace hovering just over everything. It's stupid to go to the coast in the winter. Lux knows it is.  
  
“ Are you mad at me?” Lux ventures, cautiously. She knows she will not get answer. Janna only gives her a sidelong look, and then her eyes are resolute, back out the windshield. The road twists and turns, winding around the hills.  
  
“I'm... Apprehensive.” Janna says, startling Lux.  
  
“I'm sorry.”  
  
“ Not about the trip. About...”  
  
Apparently she decides better of opening up. Her lips pull tight again, and three full songs play on the radio in her silence.  
  
“About Syndra?” Lux asks, as soft as she can.  
  
Janna's shoulders tense, then relax. Lux turns down the radio, and allows the sound of the waves to flow in through the cracked window. She can hear seagulls in the distance.  
  
“So,” Janna says brightly, clearly changing the subject. Lux watches her for a moment and decides to allow it. Janna has plenty on her mind. If Lux wanted a day of escapism, who is she to deny Janna a moment's reprieve from her own thoughts. “ What do you think of our synergy?”  
  
Lux has to turn to face her window to avoiding raising an eyebrow at Janna. She can't decide if it's sad or cute that the older girl hadn't been able to get very far from Syndra in her mind. She is still thinking about star guardian duties. She is still thinking her name.  
  
“It's getting better. Not that I want our fights to last very long, but the longer we fight, the better we get.”  
  
“I think I understand what you mean.”  
  
“Mm.” Lux nods, letting her head fall to knock gently against the window pane. “When we first arrive on a scene, Ahri is always so fussy and adamant that we shouldn't be there. But the more we fight, the more she has to accept that we aren't going anywhere. When she relaxes, we do great together. ”  
  
“ Ahri's magic is easy to work with,” Janna comments.  
  
“I agree. She can control their movements – that helps all of us. And in combination with what we can do? We're all amazing, together. I don't understand why she would reject power in numbers. ”  
  
“ I have to say that I find Soraka's powers the most impressive, though.”  
  
“I think that's because she fills a similar role to you.”  
  
Janna blinks, visibly startled. She tilts her head, eyes darting to Lux, then away. “Oh? I think her magic feels much more similar to Lulu's.”  
  
“It feels that way,” Lux agrees, “but I think when I'm fighting alongside you two, the things I rely on you for are very similar. The things I expect you to help me with.”  
  
Janna almost looks shy, for a moment. She is chewing her lip, and flicks her head to get her bangs from her eyes. “I see. Well... I'm happy to be of service.”  
  
Lux smiles wide. If there is one thing she likes about being a leader, it is being able to plant seeds of pride in her sisters.  
  
“It's been interesting to see you work with Ezreal,” Janna says, and Lux pulls her legs closer to her chest, self conscious. Maybe she is too obvious about this crush, but it is somehow pleasing to have their teamwork seen and commented on. “I've noticed you fall into pattern with him very easily.”  
  
“Mm. Coordinating is easy. If I can hold down targets for him, we can light them up together.”  
  
“It's a good combination.” Lux does not have to wonder if this is a subtle warning, because Janna adds: “Be careful.”  
  
“ Of what?” Lux wants to know.  
  
“Love can be dangerous.”  
  
Something about calling it love doesn't sit well with Lux. She has only known him a short time. She is too grateful for the concern to complain, too mindful of where the warning comes from. “Why?” She asks.  
  
Janna's face is unreadable. At a glance, it is as if they are not having a conversation at all.  
  
“You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to,” Lux assures her, and at this the older girl's expression softens.  
  
“ I just... Worry. If you fall for the wrong person, you can get hurt. And heartache can be... Damaging to a star guardian.”  
  
“I'm tough,” Lux says. She does not want to minimize the pain of a heartbreak. But she knows better than to minimize her strength to overcome – if it even happens. She does not want to operate on fear and pessimism. “I appreciate you worrying, really. But I can handle boy problems.”  
  
She would like to think that Janna looks relieved.

***

“Are you okay?” Lux asks, rushing to Lulu's side.  
  
The smaller girl's transformation has worn off in her tiredness, and she is sitting in the playground sandbox, shivering. She gives Lux a wave, but her arm is held up so weakly that Lux cannot tell if it is meant to dismiss her or if she is simply delirious.  
  
It should not be so surreal to see her in her cover-alls and sweatshirt, Lux thinks. What should be surreal are the voidling corpses strewn about the area – the glowing forms of the other star guardians as they break into pairs to check each others wounds.  
  
“All okay,” Lulu says, and rolls up her sleeves to prove it. “Just a little sleepy, now.”  
  
Lux lets out a sigh of relief, seeing the complete lack of harm to her. No scratches, no bruises, no blood. It helps to have two teammates with a focus on shielding magic – and now a healer in their ally party as well.  
  
Lux doesn't leave her side, but allows herself a quick scan of the others. Syndra and Janna are hovering close to each other, neither speaking, neither making eye contact. Miss Fortune is talking to Jinx and Poppy, and it's a comfort to see the interaction between their teams. It happens more and more, now.  
  
Ezreal is with Soraka. He is sitting on the swing-set, and Lux watches his transformation slip away into a T-shirt and jeans. He must have been called to the fight unexpectedly – he's barefoot. Lux's heart races for just a moment, like a hiccup, watching him hold out his arm to Soraka, dripping blood from a claw-mark down onto the ripped knees of his jeans.  
  
But the injury fades with her magic. What must have been the last of it for the night, because the same way his skin mends, her clothes flicker and shift into an over-sized hoodie and leggings. She is still wearing indoor slippers.  
  
Lux glances around, watching them all drop their transformations. Janna's clothes fade into her button-up blouse and a long flowing skirt. Jinx's clothes become a loose band-shirt she sleeps in and pajama pants. Poppy's clothes slip away into her school uniform, though she is missing her ribbon and jacket. Miss Fortune wears a romper, and pulls her long duster closed across her chest in the cold.  
  
Syndra does not drop her magic.  
  
Neither does Ahri. Crouched at the remains of one of the monsters, Lux could almost think she is trying to learn something from them. Except she is not looking at it. Her head is turned to Lulu, eyes sharp and thin, brow furrowed.  
  
“She's okay,” Lux calls out, aggressively good-natured. She smiles as bright as she can, forcing it that much harder just for the chance at acceptance. “No need to worry.”  
  
“I'm not,” Ahri calls back, sounding bored. But she stands, and her transformation slips away into a crop top and jeans. She is wearing a cardigan, but Lux can't imagine that's enough to keep her warm. Ahri, she is beginning to suspect, is very dedicated to her fashions.  
  
“You could worry about me,” Ezreal offers, traces of laughter in his tone. “If you wanted.”  
  
For a moment Lux wonders if he flirts with all of them. Wonders if she has been conceited to think he is flirting at all.  
  
Ahri rolls her eyes and ignores him, and Lux cannot place if this interaction was endearing or sad. She glances out across the girls – and Ezreal, who grins at her, a bit lopsided with exhaustion.  
  
Lux shifts her weight, face flushing as she forces herself to say, loudly, “w-would... Anyone like to get something to eat? With me? There's a family restaurant close by.”  
  
Lulu and Jinx shoot their hands into the air, and Janna nods easily, floating to join Lux. Poppy murmurs, “I guess,” with a hidden smile.  
  
“It's two in the morning,” Miss Fortune says, blandly, and has already begun walking away. Syndra follows her without comment, though Lux does not get the impression they are truly leaving together.  
  
“Yeah,” Ahri says, sounding distant as she watches them go. She shakes her head, and the severity settles back into her body like she's fought to get it back. “I need my beauty sleep. You kids have fun.”  
  
Soraka offers Lux a deep bow, but shakes her head and leaves as well.  
  
“Well,” Ezreal says looking painfully aware how out of place he is, now. “I can go. If that's cool?”  
  
Jinx grumbles, but Poppy elbows her in the knees.  
  
They wind up at M&P's, because it's 24 hours and sounded better than breakfast foods. They all bustle in, shivering, and if the server thinks anything of Ezreal's bare feet and Jinx's bed-clothes, she doesn't say it.  
  
Over her chicken dumplings, Lulu says, “it was tiring, but it was fun!”  
  
“What's tiring is going to be class, tomorrow,” Ezreal complains. “Maybe I'll sleep through math.”  
  
Jinx barks out a laugh, then looks bitter that she enjoyed something he said, and stuffs mashed potatoes into her mouth with vehemence.  
  
“Is your arm alright?” Janna asks him.  
  
“It hurt,” Ezreal admits, “but it's fine now. Soraka always patches me up good.”  
  
He meshes himself into their conversations with ease. Lux cannot entirely tell if he is teasing Jinx or simply unaware that she is trying to tease _him_ , but it's amusing to watch. He seems to read Janna well enough, and the two of them even discuss schoolwork, for a time, joined by Poppy.  
  
But Lux has to admit that she is at her most smitten when he catches Lulu making eyes at the shrimp on his plate, and slips some onto her plate once she is distracted.  
  
Then he catches Lux staring, and winks. “You're doing fine,” he assures her, again, though it seems abrupt.  
  
It doesn't always feel like it in battle. It doesn't feel like it when Ahri stares her down. But at times like this, she thinks she could accept that.  
  
She's doing fine.

***

“What's going on?!” Lux asks, running. She transforms as she goes, her feet leaving the ground in her school shoes and landing in boots. She shakes her head to settle her hair around the tiara and clips. The streets are dark – she can hear her footsteps clacking on the sidewalk. Each step upturns a flurry of spring petals.  
  
Her cell phone is warm against her cheek; she can hear the monsters in the background. She can hear Jinx's bullets. Poppy's voice comes through under a layer of static. “There are two rifts at once.”  
  
She can hear Jinx in the background of the call, muffled by distance, laughing near hysterically. “It's a double event!” She needs to limit Jinx's monster movie intake.  
  
“I'll be there soon,” she says, her strides already considerably strengthened by her transformation.  
  
Poppy begins to say something, but is cut off by a painfully loud sound, a rustling directly against the . For a moment Lux is terrified for her, but soothed as Ahri's voice breaks in with clarity. “I'm sending Ezreal!”  
  
“Right!”  
  
The sound of Poppy's phone clattering to the ground is unmistakable. Lux wonders if she will have to get a new one again. It doesn't matter. They have bigger priorities. She keeps running, the scenery flying by, all pink-blossomed trees and blooming flowers at the roadside.  
  
Ezreal is not in flight when she spots him rushing towards her, but he is taking unnaturally long leaps closer with Yuuto as his wings. Conserving energy – smart.  
  
He doesn't slow down as he reaches her, quickly circling around and scooping her up from behind despite her startled shriek. Reflexively, she throws her arms around his neck as the ground grows further away.  
  
She thinks, despite the situation, that this proximity should be eliciting a bigger response from him, but he is hyper-focused on hurrying back to the others. She can't blame him, even if it is difficult for her to think straight, staring up at him from his arms with the starry sky behind him. She is too aware of his hand supporting her under her thighs.  
  
She shakes her head. He is this serious because he knows what they are headed to. If Ezreal is passing up the opportunity to flirt, she needs to trust that judgment.  
  
“Tell me,” Lux commands.  
  
Ezreal doesn't look down at her. “Ahri is taking care of the big ones. They're slow and she's the fastest. She's using her magic to keep them chasing her,” he says. The rest of us are focusing on the rest, keeping everything else off of her.”  
  
Lux closes her eyes. Pictures the layout of the park in her mind. It's like playing chess, in a way. “Poppy should stick close to Ahri. She can knock away anything that gets too close, or clear a path back to the others if she needs to regroup with them. Everyone else needs to move as a group. If anyone is going to split off, it needs to be Jinx or Syndra.”  
  
“Got it,” Ezreal says, though Lux knows she is going to have to repeat this all in a moment.  
  
She is not afraid.  
  
When they arrive, she calls her plan down to them from above, still in Ezreal's arms. They drop to the ground with care, Soraka holding her hands out to brace Lux in case she falls. She feels like a baton being handed off, but knows that it is because two people want her safe.  
  
Ahri does not object to having Poppy at her side. Not that Lux can hear, anyway. Admittedly she is distracted by twice the usual monsters. It takes time to draw out her magic, and there are times she is simply hunched over, gasping for breath, desperately searching for hidden strengths inside herself. The others seem to be able to draw from their weapons so endlessly, yet she needs constant rest. She tries to use the time to survey the area, to calculate the best routes for them to circle, the best ways to divide up their skills to take care of things.  
  
When they have finally cleared every last one of the voidlings, Lux collapses into the cool dewy grass. She is sweating, her hair mussed. Her transformation fades away, leaving her back in her school uniform.  
  
She fully expects Ahri to scold her for all the time spent slacking. When the older girl comes to stand over her, Lux covers her eyes with her arm. She does not want to see the look of disdain tonight, not when she is this tired. She would also, if she is honest, like to hide her flushed face.  
  
“Hey,” Ahri says, surprisingly gentle. Lux feels Ahri's shoe nudging her side lightly. “Couldn't have done it without you. Good job.”  
  
Lux bolts upright, but Ahri turns away, stubbornly refusing to look back as she leaves. Syndra is already gone, somehow.  
  
Jinx flops down beside Lux, groaning. “I know I'm always like _oh, over already_ , but that was the worst and I am _dying._ ”  
  
Lulu flops down as well – on top of Jinx's stomach. (Jinx lets out another pained sound, but does not push her away.) Janna comes to join them, hovering behind Ezreal.  
  
Poppy sits down on the cement bordering the grass. “That was good thinking, Lux.”  
  
Lux shakes her head. “More impressive that you did it. I know you had to be in a tough spot, that close to so many of them and alone.”  
  
Poppy shudders, but it is playfully over-dramatic; she laughs afterwards.  
  
“Thank God there are two groups,” Ezreal comments.  
  
“And thanks for bringing the princess,” Lulu replies, beaming.  
  
Lux says, “I'm not–”  
  
“–My pleasure,” Ezreal says, and gives a bow with flourish.  
  
“Well,” Miss Fortune says, leaning against one of the street lights nearby, “you guys are embarrassing and also terrible, so I'm going home. See you next time.” Then she does finger-guns, her face completely unreadable, and leaves.  
  
Lux blinks. “I think that's the cutest thing she has ever done. I love her.”  
  
Jinx and Ezreal, in unison, blurt out an incredulous, “ _what?_ ”  
  
Lux just laughs, relaxing back against the grass. She knows she should feel plenty fulfilled just by protecting the innocent, but being praised by Ahri makes it considerably better. It's enough to make the extra exhaustion of the 'double event' well worth it.  
  
She feels the breeze on her skin, cool with her sweat, and knows it is a gift from Janna. She closes her eyes to enjoy it for a moment, far too tired to be embarrassed at her disheveled state.  
  
Soraka approaches them, slow and cautious as if she is afraid of being shooed away. The opposite, when Ezreal sees her inching closer and waves her over.  
  
“You did great,” Lux tells her, because it isn't just her own team that deserve to be told. She sits up.  
  
Soraka nods gracefully. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, hesitates a moment, then asks, “are you... Going out to eat again tonight?”  
  
Lux tilts her head to the side. It has become something of a debriefing tradition for her team (and Ezreal.) She had not planned on it tonight, largely for desperate need of a bath, but there is no way she is saying 'no' to Soraka's open request for inclusion.  
  
“Please, God,” Jinx moans. “I am so hungry that I am going to _die_.”  
  
“You keep saying you're dying,” Poppy says, “and yet.”  
  
“Pancakes?” Lulu asks.  
  
“Omelets,” Jinx corrects.  
  
“Bacon,” Poppy says.  
  
Lux pulls herself up. “Waffles, I think.”  
  
“Team waffles.” Ezreal agrees.  
  
Janna murmurs, “French toast.”  
  
The entire group of them turn to Soraka, looking at her expectantly. Her shoulders jump, eyes wide and confused by the apparent check-list they are running down. “... Crepes?”  
  
“Sounds like a plan,” Lux says.  
  
This time it is not enough of an ungodly hour for the staff to hide their disdain for a group of messy teens. But for once Lux cannot bring herself to care. She does not finger-comb her hair in a panic or check her makeup with her cell phone. She does not scold Jinx for her uneven pigtails or the sloppy way her over-sized shirt hangs off her shoulder. She does not even rub grass stains off of Lulu's cheek and demand to know “ _how, even?”_  
  
She wants Ezreal to see the best in her, yet has never been so at peace with being seen as such a mess. She dares anyone to criticize her friends, dares anyone to criticize _her_. She knows that Ezreal would never be the one to do it.  
  
Soraka and Lulu each split their meals together a chocolate chip pancake for a peach crepe. Jinx orders an omelet with bell peppers, and picks them out one by one to trade for two pieces of bacon from Poppy. Janna and Poppy share the syrup with careful measuring and far too-dedicated volume debates.  
  
Lux and Ezreal fight over the small, prepackaged jams, laughing all the while.  
  
She cannot find the insecurity that is usually such a deep well inside herself.  
  
When Ezreal finally concedes the last package of strawberry jam to her, she does not remember how to doubt herself. As a guardian, or as just a girl. He looks absolutely love-struck.

***

“Do you, uh,” Lux begins, cheeks flushing red, “want to come to the beach? With us?”  
  
Miss Fortune arches an elegant eyebrow at her. The orange sunset is painting the classroom through the window. Lux wonders why the two of them haven't gone home if they aren't in any after-school clubs, but supposes she isn't one to talk.  
  
Empty homes are too depressing. She knows this is a shared fragment of fate between all of them. Absent families are the only way any of this works. Families that exist only on the outskirts of their lives.  
  
Miss Fortune does not reply to Lux. Instead she turns back to Ahri, picking up a conversation that they had apparently been having. “Anyway, that guy from earlier,” Miss Fortune is saying. “I looked through his phone's browser history to see what porn he's into, and it's all totally vanilla.”  
  
“Sucks,” Ahri comments. She flips a page of the magazine open on her desk. “Vanilla boys always pretend they're into some dark stuff.”  
  
Lux knows her whole face is red now, for sure. “Um,” she tries again. “Sorry – I didn't mean to interrupt. Just... Soraka is coming. And Ezreal. So I thought we should invite the rest of you as well.”  
  
“Of course he is,” Miss Fortune says, dismissive.  
  
“Soraka, too?” Ahri asks, her ears perking up against her will. Lux's eyes flick to them, vaguely endeared by knowing it was unconscious, then back down to Ahri's narrowed eyes.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
Ahri's only response is a disinterested, “hm,” before she turns her attention back to her magazine.  
  
The way Miss Fortune stares Lux down is nerve-wracking. Lux cannot read her face at all.  
  
“If you're worried about rifts opening while we're gone,” Lux offers tentatively, “Lulu and Soraka both said the odds are really slim.”  
  
Miss Fortune seems to consider this, but before she can come to a conclusion, Ahri speaks up. “If that's a risk you want to take.”  
  
Lux frowns, shifting her weight. She draws her arms to her front. “You went on the camping trip. This wouldn't even be overnight, just a day trip. We would probably leave about ten in the morning and come back by six or seven.”  
  
“We went on the camping trip _because_ there was a rift about to split,” Ahri points out. “You don't have to defend your little field trip to me. I'm not your boss. You can go.”  
  
“Is it alright for Ezreal and Soraka to go?”  
  
The sound Ahri lets out is half sigh and half groan. “I don't care.”  
  
“No,” Lux says, mustering up what firmness she can. “I understand if you don't want to be left alone with only a fragment of your team. A day at the beach is fun, but it can't take priority over protecting the city. If you want your whole team here, I'll respect that.”  
  
“Really,” Miss Fortune drawls. “You're fine with Ezreal staying behind?” Before Lux can answer, the redhead turns to Ahri. “What's the word, boss? Want to break up the happy couple?”  
  
Lux is quick to insist, “I _am_ fine with it and we are _not_ a couple.”  
  
Ahri only lets out another falsely disinterested, “hm.”  
  
“I did consider if a rift opened,” Lux says, trying to drain the indignance and embarrassment from her voice. “But with Lulu and Soraka both doubting it, if one does appear, it will be small and weak. And Syndra has already declined to join us, so even if the both of you came, there would still be someone here to seal it.”  
  
Ahri's ear twitches.  
  
Miss Fortune's gaze darts to it, then back to Lux. For once Lux feels in on the joke with her, and offers a tentative smile.  
  
“Janna was going to drive half of us and Soraka was going to drive the rest. We, um, just like the road trips, honestly. We thought we'd hit up the beach and play in the water a bit, then maybe get chowder and ice cream before heading home.”  
  
There is a long, long silence. Miss Fortune looks at Ahri sidelong, and Ahri pretends not to notice. It is an unspoken question, met with an unspoken _do what you want._ Unspoken disapproval.  
  
But what is unspoken cannot stop Miss Fortune, and so she says, “I'll drive instead of Soraka. I've got a good stereo. And we're getting saltwater taffy from Old Town.”  
  
Lux beams. “Ahri?”  
  
“Pass,” Ahri says. But Lux sees her ears droop, just slightly.  
  
Miss Fortune gives her a look that tells her to let it go, and so Lux does not push it.  
  
The trip is over the weekend. Lux does not know how Miss Fortune's drive goes. She wishes there were a way they could all take the trip together, but the idea of some sort of Star Guardian Road Trip Bus is too ridiculous to entertain.  
  
Lulu sits up front with Janna, in charge of their music. Jinx is in charge of directions, while Poppy is in charge of correcting those directions.  
  
Lux considers herself in charge of spacing out and enjoying the scenery.  
  
It's easy to meet up at the beach – Miss Fortune's subs can be heard from a mile away. Soraka's smile is almost alarmingly serene as she steps out of the car, its music still blaring louder than God. Ezreal must have been the one in charge of it, because it shuts off as he taps at his phone.  
  
The water is too cold to frolic in properly, but Jinx and Ezreal take turns nudging each other deeper into the shallows, inch by inch. Lux hops over incoming waves, hand in hand with Lulu. Miss Fortune and Poppy kick wet sand into piles, half competing and half not. Janna and Soraka pick out sea shells and shiny pebbles.  
  
Their table is the noisiest one at the restaurant, and Miss Fortune tells them all about the different kinds of boats that pass by the docks out the window. It takes them nearly an hour at the ice cream parlor to each decide what they want, and the poor worker is hopelessly overwhelmed by their indecisiveness, and by the way Miss Fortune dumps an arm-full of saltwater taffy on the counter.  
  
They switch things up on the ride home. Lux is with Miss Fortune and Ezreal, and Jinx insists on joining them. Soraka joins the others; Lux suspects Janna had been enjoying their conversation too much to end it. She doesn't mind.  
  
Jinx sits up front, and talks guns and magic with Miss Fortune. Lux does not understand what little she can hear over the music, but is glad Jinx finally has someone who can keep up on the topic.  
  
Ezreal sits in back with Lux, toying with his phone to queue up music.  
  
“Any requests?” He asks.  
  
Lux holds her hand out.  
  
Ezreal blinks, and she knows he expected her to just name a song. He still hands her his phone, laughing.  
  
Its screen is dark, and she presses the home button. The picture it lights up with is a photo of the park back in the city; of Lux, seated at the edge of the fountain and talking to a cropped-out Janna. Lux recognizes the white nightgown she is wearing in the photo, remembers the exact hectic fight this must have been after.  
  
“Uh,” Ezreal says, apparently unprepared for her to see this. “It's not creepy.”  
  
Lux pockets his phone on the side further from him, and leans forward to dig her own cell phone from her purse.  
  
Ezreal protests immediately, raising his hands up over his face. “No.”  
  
She unlocks her phone, tapping quickly to pull up her camera. She holds her phone in one hand, snapping rapid photos, her other hand reaching out to try and tug his arms out of the way.  
  
She hears the click of all the doors locking, and the sound of Miss Fortune snorting back a laugh.  
  
“What are you doing?” Jinx asks, turning in her seat at the ruckus. Lux's seatbelt is straining against her as she leans to match Ezreal's desperate lean away. He is pressed up against the door and window as he laughs through each _no_. Lux knows he could fight her off much easier than he is, and grins as she looks over to Jinx, pinning one of Ezreal's hands to the door.  
  
“A photo shoot,” she explains. “Also revenge.”  
  
Jinx pulls out her own phone.  
  
“What, no,” Lux whines waving Jinx off with her hand that holds her phone, and promptly losing her balance. She falls hard onto Ezreal, her seatbelt yanking to its limit, painfully.  
  
“Hey you kids,” Miss Fortune calls, over the music. “Quiet down back there or I'll turn this car right around. And I'll drive us all straight into the ocean. And Ahri will be _so_ mad at you. But not me. Just you.”  
  
“I've always known that's how it ends for me,” Ezreal says. “Murdered by a friend, and also Ahri is pissed at me for it.”  
  
“Of course she'd be pissed at you for dying,” Miss Fortune says. “You know how a star falls.”  
  
There is an awkward beat of silence in the car. Lux feels like this is not a conversation either of them want to have in front of her, and so she valiantly pretends it is not happening. Ezreal murmurs, “yeah.”  
  
“Sit up, I said,” the redhead repeats.  
  
“Yes, Miss Fortune,” Lux chirps, obedient, but can't hold back the laugh as she pulls herself away from Ezreal and back into her own seat, proper.  
  
Beside her, Ezreal sits up straight as well, muttering with amusement, “you're seriously smitten.”  
  
Lux rolls her eyes at him. She is starstruck by Miss Fortune, for sure, but there is no way he doesn't realize that it's only him she is smitten with. Jinx is still snapping photos, apparently, and so Lux gives her hair a quick finger-combing, then flashes a peace sign.  
  
“You too,” Miss Fortune snaps, swatting lightly in Jinx's direction without touching her. “Back in your seat.”  
  
Jinx straightens with a pout.  
  
“And,” Miss Fortune says, at length. “It's Sarah.”  
  
Lux gasps and holds her hands over her heart. Ezreal mimics the motion, but with a dramatic pained expression instead. They fall into laughter together. She gives him back his phone and lets him choose which of the awful candids to use as a her lock screen,the two of them leaning in close as they scroll through the gallery.  
  
There is no way he doesn't realize.

***

“You really can't sense her anywhere?” Lux asks.  
  
Soraka is seated at the lip of the fountain, her shoulders hunched inward and her gaze low. Even at night, the summer air is warm enough that Lux knows it is not the breeze that makes her shiver. She shakes her head, slow. “ I don't know – what it's like for you,” she says, as soft as the wind , “but even when someone is far, I can feel their life. No matter how far.”  
  
Sarah's arms are crossed over her chest as she stands at Ahri's side, nearby. “She sensed Ezreal before he even had his dream.”  
  
Curious as she is, Lux knows it is not the time to satiate her curiosity about Ezreal's particular role within the guardians.  
  
Ahri adds, “there were times when – other guardians moved across the world. She could still sense them.”  
  
Poppy's eyes flit in Jinx's direction, but Jinx pretends not to notice. Lulu pats her thigh, as high as she can reach, to comfort her.  
  
“I still can,” Soraka says. “The ones who rejected their duties and fled. I can feel them. I can sense those who could have been guardians, but were never given the dream.”  
  
Janna whispers, “ then she's...”  
  
“No,” Ahri insists in a hurry.  
  
“No,” Soraka agrees. “ Even if she had died, there would be remnants. I would sense even those.”  
  
Ezreal sounds as if he is piecing something together, and glances Ahri's way with a quiet, “ah.” Lux nudges him. He shakes his head, nudging her back, but she suspects that means that he will explain later.  
  
“ She's just... Gone,” Soraka says.  
  
They all fall silent. The familiar sounds of the leaves overhead and the endless ripples in the fountain's water are no comfort, today.  
  
Janna breaks the silence, like a sudden strong wind. “Into the void.”  
  
Ahri recoils as if struck, and her voice is a vicious snarl, “why?!”  
  
As if Janna would know. Lux watches the way her shoulders hunch inwards, the way she turns her head to look away.  
  
“What, like, on purpose?” Jinx asks. She cocks her weight to one side, huffing. “Is that how those dumb rifts work? I thought they were one-way.”  
  
“I'm not sure,” Lux hears herself say, in unison with Soraka. She startles at the sound of her own voice. So does Soraka, though her response is a subtle, curious glance her way. She wonders which question she had been answering.  
  
“So what do we _do_ about it?” Poppy asks, as delicately as she is able.  
  
Ahri has begun tapping her foot distractedly, and mutters a near incomprehensible, “give me a minute to think.”  
  
“What we do about this should depend on what her motivation was,” Sarah points out, but when Lux waits expectantly, only meets her with a shrug. A cursory glance across the older generation team, and none will meet her eyes for long.  
  
Lux feels the frown tug at her lips and has to bite back frustration. How could they know so little about their own teammate?  
  
“What does she want?” Lulu asks, naive enough to think it had not been answered just for lack of being asked. Maybe it is her sincerity that begets answers.  
  
“Power,” Ahri answers, at the same moment as Janna murmurs, much quieter, “freedom.”  
  
There is a long stretch of silence, and this time Ezreal who speaks up first, cautiously offering, “we'll figure something out.”  
  
There is no other option, after all. Lux shakes her head as if to dispel her worries. There is no time for insecurity. She knows she needs to step up and guide her own team. And though she does not like how the thought of it sits in her mind so presumptuously, she needs to step forward for as long as Ahri needs.  
  
“For now we'll wait it out,” she says, and hopes she is striking the right balance of soothing and decisive. She swallows before continuing to keep from stuttering. “She'll either contact us or we'll see her when the next rift opens. I'm sure of it.”  
  
She isn't. But Ahri curls inward for a moment, a brief glimpse of weakness – and then straightens.  
  
“Okay,” Ahri says, and there is still something weak and vulnerable in her voice. Something she is swallowing back, carefully slipping back her mask of confidence, for Sarah's sake, for Soraka's sake. For Ezreal's sake.  
  
Maybe for Lux's as well.

***

“Why did you do it?” Lux asks, as soft as she can. She tried not to, really she did, but a lull in the stilted, awkward conversation of the room lasts just a moment too long. The words slip out.  
  
She expects Syndra to avert her eyes. Instead the older girl just stares at her, dark shadows still under her eyes. “You know why,” she says.  
  
Lux does not like to ruminate on this.  
  
The fall into the void had been cold and heavy. It had also been more comfortable than she had imagined, in a way that she has been trying to shower off from inside herself ever since.  
  
She does know.  
  
It had been the inevitable end of the universe pushing into her mind, the hopeless fate of all the stars to burn out, maybe not today, but someday. The eventuality was intoxicating and instead of helpless it had made her feel powerful. It had felt like options, pressed into her hands. The power of the stars and the power of the void, all of it at her command without the worries of protecting another doomed planet.  
  
And even so, Lux had turned away from it. Had asked Syndra to come back, arms outstretched.  
  
Maybe Syndra was just exhausted from the battle before she had fled into the rift, though Lux cannot imagine this. Not with how powerful the rift makes you.  
  
She had looked at Lux with weary eyes, like she was disappointed in it all – like this, the all encompassing awe of the void had let her down, somehow. (The thought that this was crazy, the question _how could you want more than this_ churned Lux's stomach with disgust at herself.)  
  
But she had taken Lux's hand; her sigh had echoed through the nothing like it was all that could exist there. They had turned, together, towards the light; towards the hand that reached out to pull Lux back.  
  
“Do you regret coming back with me?” Lux asks, and knows that she should be asking this in private. Not in the center of Syndra's spacious, ornately decorated bedroom that feels over-crowded with both teams crammed into it.  
  
Ahri is seated at the edge of Syndra's bed, Sarah standing beside her. Soraka sits at the foot of the bed, back-lit by the morning light coming in through the window. Ezreal lingers near the doorway, as if he thinks to come any further would be to intrude. Even this is better than Janna, who has been hovering in the hallway as she silently frets.  
  
Jinx and Lulu have made themselves at home, Lulu sitting on Jinx's lap and Jinx sitting atop Syndra's dresser. Poppy has chosen a more polite seat on the floor, leaned against the wall beside Ezreal.  
  
“I've only been awake for,” Syndra says, and takes her cell phone from her bedside to check the time. “Thirty four minutes.”  
  
Lux offers a small smile. It's all she can manage after following her into the void, after waiting the four days it took for her to wake up.  
  
Now Syndra looks away.  
  
“Somewhat,” she says.  
  
Ahri raises her hand fast, palm open, and Lux flinches, closing her eyes reflexively to await the sharp sound of a slap.  
  
A long moment passes, and when Lux opens her eyes, Ahri is dropping her hand back to her lap, her wrist still held tight in Sarah's grip.  
  
“But,” Syndra says, still pointedly staring out the window, as if to pretend she had not noticed. “I intend to be honest with you all. From now on. So I thought I should admit that it's complicated.”  
  
Ahri bites out, vehement, “it's not complicated.”  
  
“It is,” Lux murmurs.  
  
Ahri's ears twitch, but she does not turn to face Lux. “There something in there you want to share with the class? You think you understand something better than us just because you threw yourself into the rift after her like an idiot?”  
  
Lux knows better than to answer with a sincere _yes._ She flexes her fingers, and remembers the weightlessness of the void. Instead she says, “no, just... All of this. The destiny we were dealt. It's not – it wasn't alright to have turned against us.” Syndra does not so much as wince, and Lux cannot decide if that is a relief or not. She swallows. “But you can't be upset with her truth. Having complicated feelings about this is... It's universal.”  
  
Ahri is quiet again, but her shoulders relax. She lets out a long breath, and Lux can see that Syndra is watching her leader from the edges of her sight.  
  
Then Syndra looks to Lux. “You reached out to me,” she says. It sounds like a statement, and Lux knows this is because the question is elsewhere. The question is why.  
  
“Everyone makes mistakes,” Lux says, though she knows this is far too simple a statement. “Of course the stakes are higher for people like... Us. But sometimes people need help.”  
  
In the quiet of the room, Ahri whispers, “thank you.”  
  
Lux feels too many eyes on her, and rubs at her arm self consciously. She never intended it to be anything heroic. She hadn't even thought about it, really. Maybe if she had, she wouldn't have done it.  
  
She glances over her shoulder, and Ezreal offers her an encouraging smile. He is looking at her like she is heroic, without a doubt in his mind that she would always have gone after Syndra and came back. Somehow, looking at him, the butterflies in Lux's stomach settle. She tells herself, _I would_.  
  
Janna is looking more and more anxious about not entering the room – Lux gives her maybe five minutes before she caves.  
  
In Jinx's lap, Lulu is brushing her hair. Jinx's chin rests atop her head, and when she meets Lux's eyes she looks away quickly. Lux knows she does not like to be seen worrying, just like she knows that Jinx _is_ worrying. Poppy nods up to Lux, proud.  
  
Soraka is watching Syndra with care, monitoring her health. Sarah's attention is still on Ahri. Her hand never drew away from her, and over time their fingers have interlaced, resting on Ahri's thigh.  
  
“I should thank you, too,” Lux says, to Ahri. “You reached out to me, even though it was dangerous.”  
  
Given the awkwardness that had already filled the room since Syndra's awakening, the silence that passes is impressively uncomfortable.  
  
Once again, Lux feels too many gazes directed her way, and glances to Jinx in silent question. Jinx is raising an eyebrow, lips quirked upwards. She cocks her head back and asks, “y'think?”  
  
Sarah is laughing quietly with her head ducked. Even Soraka looks amused.  
  
“You're right,” Ahri says, her voice stilted. “It was dangerous. It was completely reckless and almost as idiotic as hurling yourself into the rift. Which is _why_ I ordered him _not_ to do it.”  
  
She hears a shuffling behind her, and the sound of Ezreal coughing.  
  
“Oh,” Lux says, and cannot bring herself to turn to face him. She knows her face is turning red; at least Soraka has the decency not to stare.  
  
“So look at that,” Sarah says, fingers running over Ahri's, soothing.. “Kept the stars from falling, yeah?”  
  
Ahri's own laugh seems to catch her off-guard, and she shakes her head as if to shake it away. “Something like that,” she says.

***

“What happened to the others?” Lux asks in the dusty school library. It is halfway through fourth period, but she is ahead in her homework, so there is no harm in skipping for the day. The sunlight outside is golden, catching rain, and Ahri's peach hair falls perfect over her collar.  
  
She sits across from Lux at a reading table and examines her manicured nails.  
  
“The same thing that happens to all of us.”  
  
Lux knows that isn't quite right, but doesn't push it. Instead she asks, “will you tell me about them?”  
  
Ahri turns to watch the rain for a moment, a sunbeam streaking over her face until she ducks her eyes out of the light.  
  
“Sona,” she says eventually. The same way Lux could list her favorite kinds of light, Ahri counts dead friends on her fingers. “Irelia. Ashe.”  
  
Lux listens to the rainfall outside and the ticking of the clock over the door.  
  
Ahri summons three crystals to her palm in a brief shimmer of light. They are cracked and shattered emblems of star guardians, and just seeing them makes Lux wince. She can imagine her own gem shattering all-too clearly. Can imagine losing her sisters in such a visceral way that she is sure their souls have suffered that loss before.  
  
Ahri sets down the golden fragment on the table, then blue, and repeats: “Sona and Ashe. We lost them one after the other. Sona was stronger than any of us against the void. She could fight and heal and close rifts single-handedly. Probably thought she could protect us. We lost her first. And Ashe was a better leader than me. But she cared too much about the people from this world, loved them just as much as us. She was reckless for the first and last time to protect them.”  
  
Light from outside is catching on the gems, or what's left of them. Lux wants to look away, but does not let herself.  
  
Ahri sets down the green gem. “Irelia came to us at the same time as Soraka. The replacements. Irelia was so capable that it was a relief. We thought we'd never lose her.” She begins pushing the gems back and forth with her index finger, across the surface of the table. “But we did. Twice.”  
  
“Twice?”  
  
“Soraka brought her back. Nearly died for it, herself, though. We can't rely on that power of hers. If she does it again it's a trade-off.”  
  
“I didn't know,” Lux whispers.  
  
Ahri shrugs with a feigned sort of disinterest, but Lux can see how brittle she has gone. “That's why you don't get attached.”  
  
“Hiding that you're attached doesn't change that you are,” Lux points out. She knows it is tactless and expects Ahri to snap at her for it, but instead the older girl just lets out a long breath as if she had been holding it for too long.  
  
“Your team is your own,” Ahri says, after a moment. “I can only protect all of you so much. But my own team...”  
  
“We're all protecting each other,” Lux says. “You're not doing it alone.”  
  
“Maybe,” Ahri says, and looks back out the window. Dark clouds are passing overhead, and the room shadows beneath them. The light that catches the windowpanes is still golden-bright, still leaving light spots on Ahri's figure and across the table, glinting off of shattered gems. “But I couldn't stop Syndra. Not before she left and not after. I trusted her.”  
  
“You were right to,” Lux points out. “She came back. You weren't wrong. I doubt she would have come back to just me.”  
  
Ahri does not respond. Lux is beginning to realize this is not always a disapproval of her words, but an acceptance of them.  
  
“You're a good leader, Ahri,” Lux says. “But so am I.”  
  
“If we lose Ezreal, too,” Ahri says, abruptly, then swallows and does not finish the thought. Her newest teammate after so many losses. Too cocky and always chasing his starlight so fearlessly.  
  
Lux feels a lump in her throat, too. “He thinks you hate him.”  
  
Ahri's shoulders jump. She looks so sincerely startled that Lux finds herself blinking in mutual surprise. “Oh,” she says, as if it has never occurred to her that treating him so harshly would give that impression. The clouds are passing, and golden patches of light widening until he whole room is lit again. She opens and closes her mouth once or twice. Then says, “well. He is an idiot.”  
  
“No he's not,” Lux argues, fondly.  
  
“He thinks you don't like him back,” Ahri says.  
  
Lux flushes, her embarrassment equal to her disbelief. She can't imagine Ezreal being so blind. “He thinks you won't let him like me.”  
  
“See?” Ahri asks. She pulls the gem fragments back up in her palm, slipping them away. Lost companions in her pocket, reminders of the risk of caring. Even so, she says, “like I said. An idiot. You two can do what you want.”  
  
Lux does not think she would have said the same a month ago. Maybe not even a week ago.  
  
“What do you think it takes to be a good leader, Lux?” Ahri asks.  
  
“Communication, I think.”  
  
Ahri just leans back in her seat, looks out the window thoughtfully, and says, “hm.”

***

“Hey, Starlight,” Ezreal says, nudging Lux's foot under the table to get her attention. “Do you want to get out of here?”  
  
Their booth at the restaurant is far bigger and far louder than any of the staff had been prepared for at three in the morning. Ahri is crammed up between Sarah and Ezreal. Lulu and Poppy are both half-on Jinx's lap, one on each leg. Janna is just as cramped, sandwiched between Syndra and Soraka.  
  
Lux meets his eyes, and squints for a moment, trying to process his words over the bickering. (Jinx has been eating from Lulu and Poppy's plates, Sarah's hips are too bony, and Soraka's elbows keep bumping Janna into Syndra like a chain reaction, but all three are too polite to do anything more than sigh about it.)  
  
“And go where?” She asks, laughing. “It's late.”  
  
Ezreal falters. He had said it without thinking – it makes sense that she would not want to separate from the others, especially at this time of night.  
  
“Uh,” he says. She looks at him expectantly, stirring what's left of her honey-raspberry tea. It becomes increasingly harder to think straight the longer he stares.  
  
Her hair is down for once; she had tried to adjust her pigtails into something more presentable on the walk to the restaurant and snapped a hair-tie. She is wearing her white nightgown again, with Ezreal's hoodie over it for some semblance of decency, but he likes the image of her in his clothes; he likes her hair loose and spilling over his shirt.  
  
He wracks his mind for anything to do at this hour. He's sure one of the theaters in town is open, knows that one of the arcades is 24-hours. But a walk through the park is not quite so enticing after the usual life-or-death scrapping in it, so that's out.  
  
Well, he doubts she wants to be out and about in her night clothes, anyway.  
  
“Maybe we just go to my place?” He offers. “Get some rest and...” He watches as Jinx shoves Poppy, playfully, but hard enough that she tumbles into Lux's side. “Some quiet?”  
  
Ezreal realizes after saying it how poorly that could come off, the connotations it could hold.  
  
He would like to say she looks at him like the thought does not occur to her. He would like to say they are close enough friends now that she knows to read it with complete innocence, like he had intended.  
  
But Lux's cheeks flush as she stares at him, her shoulders tensing. Their feet are still touching at the toes, and he feels how she freezes, how her leg bounces for just a moment before stilling again.  
  
And Lux, blushing and reading who-knows-what into his words, says softly, “sure.”  
  
It's a nightmare to get out of the booth, made worse by Jinx hooking her ankle around Lux's when she tries to get up. Ezreal watches the wordless exchange with interest as Jinx gives Lux a look he cannot decipher. Lux must understand though, because the smile she offers in response seems to placate the other girl into letting her get up.  
  
“Be good,” Sarah tells him, as if his face were not hot enough already.  
  
By all appearances, Ahri is focused on her milkshake. Ezreal feels vaguely as if he should be asking her permission, but when she glances at him with a stubborn refusal to smile and shoos him away, he knows he already has it.  
  
She had pulled him aside a week ago to tell him as much. Set her hand on his hip and tugged him up to her side and laughed when he flustered. Told him, _she can keep the stars from falling_. Told him _I trust you_ _not to fall_ _.  
  
_ He had thought two things, both thoughts striking him at once. The first: Of course not. He has wings, after all. The second: It is far, far too late to stop him from falling. _  
  
_ Lux shivers in the moonlight, her legs milky pale and pretty. The skirt of her nightgown flutters around her knees as they walk, and each step she takes is ginger. As is often the case, she had transformed in a hurry and rushed out of the house without thinking of how tired she would be after a battle – of the fact that this time she would be the one stuck barefoot.  
  
“Thank you,” she says, during one of their many pauses under street lights. She rub gravel off of the bottoms of her feet.  
  
Ezreal is not sure what she is thanking him for. He and Yuuto are both far too tired to carry her home, and walking slowly hardly seems worth the thanks. “No problem?”  
  
Her hand comes to rest on his arm to keep her balance as she raises her other leg, brushing away small stones and whatever else has been hurting her for the last stretch of their walk. Ezreal feels himself go rigid under her touch – worse, he hears her laugh under her breath.  
  
“For reaching out to me, I mean,” Lux says.  
  
“In the void?” Ezreal asks, but does not want to stay on the topic long. Just reaching into the rift had been so much. He can't imagine being consumed by it.  
  
Lux shakes her head and steadies herself. She begins walking again, but does not let go of his arm. “That too,” she says.  
  
He thinks of sitting at the bus stop together, and he thinks of feeling the warmth of her fingers entwining with his from within the cold nothingness. As if reading his mind, her hand slides down his arm; she laces their fingers together again.  
  
When they reach his home he damps a towel with warm water for her. Lux sits on his bathroom counter and wipes the grime off of her feet. Ezreal has not had anyone in his home in far too long. The domesticity of it is a low and pleasant ache in his heart.  
  
Her long legs are even prettier in his bed, surrounded by the folds of a thick white comforter as she peels his hoodie off over her head. She looks like she belongs here, wearing her nightgown and a fond but drowsy expression.  
  
“We're going to burn out, someday,” Lux says to him as he lays down beside her. He leaves space, in case she wants it, but she is quick to close the gap and curl up against his side. She rests her head on his chest and he knows his heart races at the contact.  
  
That's the fate of star guardians; Ezreal has known it from long before he reached into the void and felt its universal inevitability. He can't tell if she means them, or all of the sisters, or existence itself.  
  
It does not really matter to him. He leans into her warmth and feels his nerves slip away with the desperate need for sleep. She mirrors each movement he makes towards her, the two of their bodies pressed together in a silent affirmation.  
  
“Worth it.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> You're my starlight  
> And I'm your skyline


End file.
